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Board Novel #3 - Confusion Wood
I'm sorry guys, this one will be short and rushed because i've been sick lately and i'm trying my best to recover. Here's some low quality shit. The kind of shit that's a little bit more NSFW than the previous Novels combined, so again,
THIS NOVEL IS UNSUITABLE FOR MINORS OR SENSITIVE AUDIENCES. VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED.
A bilingual anon on 4chan was looking for obscure creepypastas to translate from Russian to English. First he found Enmorte.avi, an iconic classic. Most creative shortpasta to ever be written. He translated it and posted it on the /x/ board, but was later deleted by a janitor because it was giving the other anons boners for whatever reason.
Anon then decided to translate Najoni.avi, but gave up mid typing because it was too low effort. Doggy.avi? Animal abuse is too much, so hell no. Stephanie.3gp? He doubts anons would be interested, and the source that inspired the pasta is lost media unfortunately (Seriously, LMW needs an article on Mayaavichannel). Wind2ows? It has a so bad it's good reputation, but he also doubts about the reception.
And later on, anon found a video called M4ftndwsgqaugnsh. It wasn't a creepypasta based video, and nor the other way around. He wondered if the description had the actual pasta in it like how Ylna did it, but no. It's just a video by its own, made to make no sense.
He watched it... THEN HE GOT AN ACCIDENTAL BONER.
He screamed in pure confusion...
...until nearly halfway through the video which seemed just weird to him. But when the sewn puppet thing ended, he got it again.
Anon felt really awkward and horrified, he had a feeling that someone was "cranking that Soulja Boy" of his. Someone he wouldn't even care about. Not even an acquaintance he's talked to twice. And i mean... A STRAIGHT UP STRANGER FROM THE STREET.
Or perhaps, the ventriloguist puppet from the very end of the video? Anon looked down and saw a red, fuzzy arm, then turned around and saw... A LOCAL DRUGDEALER WEARING AN ELMO COSTUME.
Anon screamed in pure terror and ran away from his own house.
The thing he found the scariest is that he's heard of that guy before. His ex-wife was buying crack from him. She later divorced Anon and lost custody of their daughter, who goes to middle school. Anon was home alone, and seeing the Elmo Asshole jingling his dingle SCARED HIM FUCKING SHITLESS.
He came back home and beated the shit out of the Elmo Asshole, but then realized - "oh shit, Beverly is coming home in 10 minutes, i gotta get rid of that red fucker before she sees it", so he kindly told the Elmo Asshole to, quote, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!"
Elmo Asshole left, Anon cleaned the stains, the doorbell rang. He looked into the peephole, but instead of his daughter, he saw...
THAT FUCKING VENTRILOGUIST PUPPET FROM THE VIDEO HE WATCHED MOMENTS AGO!!!
Anon screamed once again and then...
THE PUPPET FU- oh wait, it was just a nightmare. It made him think that perhaps, he was the one trying Elmo Asshole's crack? This shit fucks people up subliminal. Anon did a sigh of relief, but suddenly felt someone else's presence behind him.
Was that his ex wife? No, they divorced a long time ago. Was that his daughter? HELL NO!! Was that the Elmo Asshole? Probably, but he doubted since he most likely got arrested. Was that- it better not be that puppet-
IT FUCKING IS, LAUGHING LIKE A BITCH
Anon released his strongest scream yet and threw the puppet into the window, where it hit some other crackhead that wasn't Elmo Asshole, knocking him out unconscious. Anon's daughter came in.
Daughter: >"Dad why were you screaming?"
Anon awkwardly giggled like a local hooker out there in Block 61 and came up with an excuse, saying
Anon: >"I was just practicing my vocal chords."
Daughter: >"For real? I don't think waking up from a nightmare makes you practice. Go to sleep dad."
And then next day, his daughter went to school and began doing the previously described routine, except for the Elmo Asshole shit. He was firmly convinced Elmo Asshole was arrested, so yeah, like, and he just felt awkward watching M4ftndwsgqaugnsh, it went as normal. But the puppet was still appearing in Anon's nightmares for 3 days until it eventually stopped.
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